Building genuine connections.
A recent report released by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the U.S. Surgeon General stated that we are in the midst of an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. This issue doesn’t only exist in the U.S. but worldwide. The lack of social connections is detrimental to our mental and physical health and increases the chance of premature mortality. Strangely, we are growing lonelier despite having many tools at our fingertips to keep us connected in this modern world. Many reasons could contribute to a lack of connection and a lost sense of belonging, a topic I often work on with my wonderful coaching clients. I’m sharing some tip bits of wisdom I learned through my work with the hope this will help you feel less alone if you also seek true friendship and real connections at work or in your personal life.
What is a genuine connection?
Sharing common interests with someone and forming a connection naturally without a selfish agenda.
Being truly interested in someone's experience, helping them feel heard, and treating them with respect and kindness.
Knowing that I belong and I’m accepted.
What are the challenges surrounding forming a connection these days?
I worry about rejection and judgment.
It’s not easy for me to trust someone, or I don’t know how to gain their trust.
You are shy and an extreme introvert, and being around people constantly and having to carry the conversations drains you.
I’m not good at committing my time to deepening a relationship.
I’m going through a life transition and wish to make new friends, but I don’t know how.
What are some ways to create and develop genuine connections?
Let go of the negative inner voice and be brave about vulnerability.
Go outside of my circle/comfort zone to meet new people (potential places: the gym, local activities, networking events, classes that nurture my hobbies).
Stay curious about others’ experiences, ask thoughtful questions in my conversations, and show interest through active listening and open body language.
Share resources and checking in to remind that person I'm thinking of them.
Commit to investing in people who inspire me and make me feel positive.
Build trust by keeping my word, showing up consistently, and being authentic.
Release the past and anyone (old or new) who doesn’t deserve my trust, time, and energy.
Think of creative ways to meet new people: the gym, local activities, networking events, classes that nurture your hobbies, etc.
As an additional resource, I’m including a fun episode from the podcast A Slight Change of Plans hosted by Dr. Maya Shakar on The Science of Making (and Keeping) Friends.
I hope this serves as a reminder that we are social beings wired to stay connected with one another. It’s never too late to make new friends or seek a supportive network.
